You Are Not Your Politics

It should not be considered a wise or astute observation to note that politics is everywhere. We have politicized every possible event imaginable. The Grammys, political. The Oscars, political. The Olympics, political. We politicize the cars we drive, the food in our fridge, and the cities where we live and work. We have politicized our haircuts, our fashion, and our daily activities.

Yes, we have politicized ourselves right into the ground. Oh, but one other thing we have politicized–each other.

You see, some things cannot help but be political. Immigration, fair. Abortion, fair. Gun control, fair! But wouldn’t it be nice if we remembered a time, a time not so long ago, where WE were not our politics? Where we were not simply avatars for our team? Where we were not walking placards strolling or scrolling for a fight?

Yes, it was not so long ago in America’s history that people didn’t feel the need to instantly shout people down, cancel them completely, or ex-communicate them from the group because they slightly disagreed with a brand of politics. And there was a good reason for this–they didn’t know you disagreed with them. Why? Because not every damn conversation started and ended with politics. There were other things in the world to talk about. There were other things to do.

In my lifetime, I have seen several presidential cycles. I cannot recall, not once, where a presidential election was not dubbed “the most important election in our nation’s history”. It seems every year is the big one. Every year politics is more and more consequential. Every year it is up to “us” to beat “them”. And yes, while politics is important, they are not everything. And I begin to wonder, is more politics the answer to our interpersonal problems?

Do I really need to live, breath, eat, sleep, and drink my politics, all the time, 24/7?

Do we really need to hash it out, berate, and cancel one another because of some fairly minor disagreements on taxes or healthcare?

It seems we are now, more than ever, actively looking at people through the political lens. And I don’t think it is helping. I don’t think it is healthy. I don’t think it is sustainable. And it doesn’t help that we are all too aware of all the social cues. Short bangs? Blue hair? Red hat? Belt buckle?Hell, it seems we can tell a person’s politics before they even enter the room. We have trained ourselves to look through that lens–and it isn’t working. 

Yes, politics is about arguing. It is about debating, confronting, and learning how to face challenging issues from the standpoint of policy. Yes, some people are idiots. Yes, some people’s politics are just absolute dogshit. But you wouldn’t care if your best friend disliked a song that you thought was great. Or if he ordered his burgers with cheddar, and you preferred provolone.Because he is your friend. You want him to stick around.

And while politics is not the same thing as music or cheese, sometimes our disagreements can be based on strikingly similar trivialities. In the past few years, America has become a hotbed of people calling each other out for minor indiscretions. Long-term friendships have ended in ruin. Family members are refusing to speak. Even the dating world, online and in real life has been disturbingly affected. It feels like one-half of the country feels the other half of the country is evil. I don’t know about you, but I think “evil” is actually pretty rare.

But the phenomenon of spite, of hatred, of moral high grounding is not. 

Of course, there are issues that people will just not see eye to eye on. On some issues, there is just hardly any wiggle room. And that’s okay. But just because we don’t back the same candidate, or feel the same way about a war in a place neither of us has ever been, or feel differently about minimum wage, just because we feel differently about these things doesn’t mean there aren’t a million other things we could agree on or even enjoy together. Like, say, sports. Did you watch the Olympics? (ok, bad example)

But in all seriousness, we might disagree on a few political ideas, but why are we even talking about it? Shouldn’t we be enjoying ourselves? Perhaps, laughing a little? Maybe do a little dancing? Forget our own egos and let our own politics take a rest for a while?

Yes, we have different backgrounds, have different viewpoints, opinions, and values. But we should also value one another. And that means realizing we are not our politics. We like music, film, art, food, nature, the beach, whatever. 

I want to know that you can take a joke, or maybe smoke a joint. I want to know if you are pleasant to be around and if you are polite to people. Because if you are not, I won’t ever even know what your politics are. Maybe, if we give politics a rest, if we can slow down just a bit and try and see and enjoy the things we have in common, we won’t be at each other’s throats all the time. This means being ok with disagreements. It means being ok and accepting some differing opinions and values. It also means finding some other things to talk about it. 

I know we are in the thick of a crucial presidential election cycle. I get that. And yes, I might be wasting my breath. But politics is not everything. And no matter who wins or loses an election, I am not going to lose friends, family, or time worrying about it any more than I need to. Politics is everywhere. I don’t think the answer to our daily lives, our happiness, or our healthy relationships is more of it. So next time you see something online or in real life that you disagree with, remember there is a whole person you are responding to, and interacting with. Somewhere along the way, many have forgotten that. Where the toxic politics end, politeness and civility can begin. I think we need that right now. More than we have in quite some time.

Wrong Speak is a free-expression platform that allows varying viewpoints. All views expressed in this article are the author's own.