When Parody Becomes Reality

Every so often there is a story with details so outlandish that I immediately assume it is satire and move on. More and more, though, these types of stories are eerily close to reality. And sometimes, like this one, it IS reality.

I had to watch and read this several times just to make sure I wasn't being duped. But no. This is real. And it is the latest evidence that we are living in the late stages of liberal Western Democracy unless something changes quickly.

In Canada, there has been a spate of car thefts in recent months. There have also been a number of cases where people who had the nerve to protest their cars being stolen from their driveways have had guns pulled on them by the thieves. I couldn't find any reports of someone being shot, thankfully. Unfortunately, there have been several cases where the thieves actually broke into people's homes and stole their fobs.

Recently, the New York Times shared an article explaining the lengths that some Toronto residents are going to just to be able to keep their cars. Others have already given up, putting notes in the windows telling thieves that the door is unlocked and there is no need to smash the windows.

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The Toronto Police Department, crackerjacks that they are, have issued a public alert about this spree. Did they announce increased patrols in residential neighborhoods? Maybe launching a push for stiffer sentences for car thieves? Nah. Those things are only done in *functioning* societies.

Here is their sage advice to John and Jane Citizen.

• “To prevent the possibility of being attacked at home, leave your (car key) fobs at your front door... they're breaking into your home to steal your car, they don't want anything else. A lot of them that they're arresting have guns on them... and they're not toy guns, they're real guns; they're loaded."

Maybe they should also leave them some milk and cookies by the front door. You can't swipe cars on an empty stomach after all.

It is entirely fair to point out that Canada's gun laws make it VERY difficult for the average citizen to possess a firearm. Unfortunately, as this demonstrates, it doesn't seem to do a hell of a lot in keeping guns out of the hands of criminals.

Hmmm...where have I heard THAT before?

20 years ago, this statement from a police department would have been a comical parody. We would have laughed at the ridiculousness of this concept and hailed the writer of the skit as a comedic genius.

And of course, it goes without saying that the perps in most of these cases are people who were not born in Canada. But I am told pointing that out makes me a horrible racist, so I won't.

My God...what has happened to this world? And to Canada in particular? The Great White North has turned into the largest population of sheep in the northern hemisphere.

Maybe the trick for getting Canadian police interested in deterring car thefts is to tell the officers that the thieves are actually truckers protesting COVID lockdowns. That seems to get their attention.

Then again, Canada keeps voting for leaders who see The State as vastly superior to The Individual. Leaders who will literally prostrate themselves in front of protestors they like, but bring the hammer down on protestors they don’t like. They will freeze their bank accounts without due process, get told in no uncertain terms that it is illegal, and shrug their shoulders and do it over and over again.

Maybe we’re building the wall on the wrong border.

Wrong Speak is a free-expression platform that allows varying viewpoints. All views expressed in this article are the author's own.