Seeing the attitude many Christians have toward women since I got on social media a few years ago has been one of the most disappointing experiences of my life.
I find it deeply odd and concerning when a post theoretically about what the Bible says on a subject rather makes a point of not actually quoting what the Bible says on that subject, resting its argument entirely on non-biblical sources not cited or linked here. That's a pretty big red flag to me.
So, what ARE some of the relevant verses on this topic?
Ephesians 5:22-33
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
1 Peter 3:1-7
3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
1 Corinthians 11:3
3 But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,[a] and the head of Christ is God.
1 Corinthians 11:9
9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
Colossians 3:18-19
18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
So, "wives submit yourselves to your husbands" is a command repeated by both Peter and Paul. Made even more clear in "as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." How does the Church submit to Christ? In loving obedience. Do we have a concrete example of this in the specific context of marriage? Yes. "They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord."
There's no logically consistent way to try to argue that "wives submit to your husband" doesn't include obeying your husband. This can't be interpreted to only mean following his spiritual leadership either, Ephesians 5:24 clearly says that she is to submit "in all things" and 1 Peter 3:1 applies this even to wives whose husbands aren't spiritual leaders or members of the faith at all.
Now, do husbands ALSO have responsibilities toward their wives? YES! Too many to list here, but loving her as himself, caring for her, protecting her, "giving himself up for her" (sacrificing) for her, not being harsh with her, are called out as requirements as to HOW he is to exercise his authority over her. He's called to live up to the model of how Jesus leads the Church, which is to say, among other things, taking her problems onto himself and being willing to live and die for her. There's no room in these commands for a husband to abuse his authority over his wife without it being a sin on his part. Likewise, Christ is still the head over both, the husband's authority is delegated, so if he tries to order something of her that contradicts God's commands than his order is invalid; obedience to God always comes first.
It's frankly rather peculiar how modern Western culture has stigmatized women's obedience in marriage, while elevating women in the workplace, in the military even, as if her accepting the authority of whatever manager an employer arbitrarily assigns over her is perfectly acceptable and praiseworthy, yet her accepting the authority of her husband, whom she herself chooses and confirms by sacrament before God, is somehow less acceptable and praiseworthy, less expected or required by the position.
It's particularly incomprehensive to me, given my military background. For those unfamiliar with military hierarchy, here's the simplified version: Commissioned Officers appointed to command have authority and responsibility over their units. Everyone else is required by law and oath to follow the lawful orders of the officers appointed over them. My background is as a non-commissioned officer (NCO). For those really unfamiliar with the military aside from seeing movies and tv, think of all the ranks with the word "Sergeant" in them. That guy saying "Yes, Sir!" to an order and then going to the rest of the enlisted Soldiers to tell them how they're going to accomplish the mission they've been given, that has been my career. I've spent a lot of time in the position of both taking orders from above and giving them to those below. At every level, that authority comes with responsibility: accomplishment of the mission and the welfare of the Soldiers.
Even in the Army, one of the most traditional and strictly hierarchal cultures anywhere in Western society, they teach servant leadership, they teach providing care and respect and dignity and trust and support and protection to the people whom you exercise authority over, as the necessary complement to the trust and respect and support and obedience that your subordinates provide in return. It's absurd that people would have no problem with a female junior soldier being required to follow my lawful orders under the authority given me by the military as her supervisor, but nonetheless have a problem with my wife being likewise required to follow my lawful orders under the authority given me by God himself as her husband.
I'm a woman, and a complementarian, and I'm no more abused or subjected by my voluntary submission to my husband than Jesus is by his submission to the Father. Marriage is meant to be a picture of that union, and of that between Christ and the Church.
For anyone who really wants to dive deep on this topic, look up Mike Winger on YouTube. He did an EXTREMELY thorough examination of both the complementarian and egalitarian scholarship on women's roles, as well as what scripture actually says. He came at it from a place of wanting to be convinced by the egalitarian camp... but he was not. Most of the egalitarian scholarship out there is just bad.
Also, it's interesting that the author says scripture is a rorschach test for the heart and then turns right around and twists Genesis 3:16. That God said husbands will bully their wives is an interesting interpretation, to say the least. It's not what it actually says, though. Not that it isn't true, as a result of the fall, but let's at least try to be accurate with the text.
Not every woman wants to be a slave, servant, brood mare, or "helpmeet" in a patriarchal Abrahamic religion (and all Abrahamic religions are patriarchal). Being the most beloved slave on the planation still makes you unfree, and being the most beloved pet in the kennel still makes you a domestic animal.
I agree that far too many believers highlight Eph. 5:22 & 23 and skip over vs. 25 where it says "...gave himself up for her." The sacrificial part of the equation is much less appealing to most men. I was blessed to have a godly man (father-in-law) to model Godly husbanding, and I've experienced what a blessing that role is for all involved. My wife loudly agrees when the subject arises. I'm disappointed that so many of the commenters here have focused on minutia they disagree with and so missed the point you were making, that God called us to be partners not master and willing slave.
How about looking at what goes on in the real world? Men have to register for the military draft, women are exempt. Women have reproductive rights, men do not. The feminists in human resources openly discriminate against men. There are 10 offices for women's health, and zero offices for men's health. The Violence Against Women Act was passed by preventing men from testifying about the fact that women batter men as often as the converse. Men account for 80% of suicides.
This is the one-two punch of gynocentrism and feminism. As for women, the only ones worth my time are the growing numbers of them that respect and value men, and speak out on male issues.
I don't agree with all above and some interpretations are a bit of a stretch, imo, but I agree putting the blame on "feminism" is not helpful. People look for a scapegoat, taking the easy way instead of dealing with individuals.
I find it deeply odd and concerning when a post theoretically about what the Bible says on a subject rather makes a point of not actually quoting what the Bible says on that subject, resting its argument entirely on non-biblical sources not cited or linked here. That's a pretty big red flag to me.
So, what ARE some of the relevant verses on this topic?
Ephesians 5:22-33
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
1 Peter 3:1-7
3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
1 Corinthians 11:3
3 But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,[a] and the head of Christ is God.
1 Corinthians 11:9
9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
Colossians 3:18-19
18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
So, "wives submit yourselves to your husbands" is a command repeated by both Peter and Paul. Made even more clear in "as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." How does the Church submit to Christ? In loving obedience. Do we have a concrete example of this in the specific context of marriage? Yes. "They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord."
There's no logically consistent way to try to argue that "wives submit to your husband" doesn't include obeying your husband. This can't be interpreted to only mean following his spiritual leadership either, Ephesians 5:24 clearly says that she is to submit "in all things" and 1 Peter 3:1 applies this even to wives whose husbands aren't spiritual leaders or members of the faith at all.
Now, do husbands ALSO have responsibilities toward their wives? YES! Too many to list here, but loving her as himself, caring for her, protecting her, "giving himself up for her" (sacrificing) for her, not being harsh with her, are called out as requirements as to HOW he is to exercise his authority over her. He's called to live up to the model of how Jesus leads the Church, which is to say, among other things, taking her problems onto himself and being willing to live and die for her. There's no room in these commands for a husband to abuse his authority over his wife without it being a sin on his part. Likewise, Christ is still the head over both, the husband's authority is delegated, so if he tries to order something of her that contradicts God's commands than his order is invalid; obedience to God always comes first.
It's frankly rather peculiar how modern Western culture has stigmatized women's obedience in marriage, while elevating women in the workplace, in the military even, as if her accepting the authority of whatever manager an employer arbitrarily assigns over her is perfectly acceptable and praiseworthy, yet her accepting the authority of her husband, whom she herself chooses and confirms by sacrament before God, is somehow less acceptable and praiseworthy, less expected or required by the position.
It's particularly incomprehensive to me, given my military background. For those unfamiliar with military hierarchy, here's the simplified version: Commissioned Officers appointed to command have authority and responsibility over their units. Everyone else is required by law and oath to follow the lawful orders of the officers appointed over them. My background is as a non-commissioned officer (NCO). For those really unfamiliar with the military aside from seeing movies and tv, think of all the ranks with the word "Sergeant" in them. That guy saying "Yes, Sir!" to an order and then going to the rest of the enlisted Soldiers to tell them how they're going to accomplish the mission they've been given, that has been my career. I've spent a lot of time in the position of both taking orders from above and giving them to those below. At every level, that authority comes with responsibility: accomplishment of the mission and the welfare of the Soldiers.
Even in the Army, one of the most traditional and strictly hierarchal cultures anywhere in Western society, they teach servant leadership, they teach providing care and respect and dignity and trust and support and protection to the people whom you exercise authority over, as the necessary complement to the trust and respect and support and obedience that your subordinates provide in return. It's absurd that people would have no problem with a female junior soldier being required to follow my lawful orders under the authority given me by the military as her supervisor, but nonetheless have a problem with my wife being likewise required to follow my lawful orders under the authority given me by God himself as her husband.
Social media is where you are judging Christianity viewpoints from? Is this reality?
I'm a woman, and a complementarian, and I'm no more abused or subjected by my voluntary submission to my husband than Jesus is by his submission to the Father. Marriage is meant to be a picture of that union, and of that between Christ and the Church.
For anyone who really wants to dive deep on this topic, look up Mike Winger on YouTube. He did an EXTREMELY thorough examination of both the complementarian and egalitarian scholarship on women's roles, as well as what scripture actually says. He came at it from a place of wanting to be convinced by the egalitarian camp... but he was not. Most of the egalitarian scholarship out there is just bad.
Also, it's interesting that the author says scripture is a rorschach test for the heart and then turns right around and twists Genesis 3:16. That God said husbands will bully their wives is an interesting interpretation, to say the least. It's not what it actually says, though. Not that it isn't true, as a result of the fall, but let's at least try to be accurate with the text.
I'll pray for you, to the Wiccan divinity.
I mean, considering my God made your god and yours has to bow to the name of Jesus, I think maybe you shouldn't bother. But thanks anyway.
We will have to agree to disagree, then. Your God and mine are the same, just showing different aspects.
That’s an interesting perspective. How do you arrive at the conclusion that they’re the same?
Not every woman wants to be a slave, servant, brood mare, or "helpmeet" in a patriarchal Abrahamic religion (and all Abrahamic religions are patriarchal). Being the most beloved slave on the planation still makes you unfree, and being the most beloved pet in the kennel still makes you a domestic animal.
I agree that far too many believers highlight Eph. 5:22 & 23 and skip over vs. 25 where it says "...gave himself up for her." The sacrificial part of the equation is much less appealing to most men. I was blessed to have a godly man (father-in-law) to model Godly husbanding, and I've experienced what a blessing that role is for all involved. My wife loudly agrees when the subject arises. I'm disappointed that so many of the commenters here have focused on minutia they disagree with and so missed the point you were making, that God called us to be partners not master and willing slave.
How about looking at what goes on in the real world? Men have to register for the military draft, women are exempt. Women have reproductive rights, men do not. The feminists in human resources openly discriminate against men. There are 10 offices for women's health, and zero offices for men's health. The Violence Against Women Act was passed by preventing men from testifying about the fact that women batter men as often as the converse. Men account for 80% of suicides.
This is the one-two punch of gynocentrism and feminism. As for women, the only ones worth my time are the growing numbers of them that respect and value men, and speak out on male issues.
Women have reproductive rights and men don't? Seriously?
I don't agree with all above and some interpretations are a bit of a stretch, imo, but I agree putting the blame on "feminism" is not helpful. People look for a scapegoat, taking the easy way instead of dealing with individuals.