The disease of addiction affects millions of Americans every year, leaving its mark on family, friends, and the individual. Its outcomes can be tragic, recovery can be elusive, and many people follow their addiction to their deaths. Wrong Speak Publishing is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Good for you writing this and thank you. I had spent most of my life affiliated with the side of this discussion that turned people into addicts, I watched them struggle, I watched them fail, I watched them die. The majority don't come out the other side and I'm genuinely glad you're one of them and seeking to spare others the agony you went through.
Congratulations on your hared earned sobriety. It's true that knowledge is power, and the earlier we receive it the more powerful it is. Lessons I learned early on from my AlAnon mother to protect me from following the footsteps of my alcoholic father stuck with me. I drink, but I've always been cognizant of where it can lead and have policed myself throughout my life. Thank you for sharing, Audra. ZL
I was a cocaine fiend and a crackhead. I have been clean 14 years. I disagree with the disease model and the abstinence (AA) community can be abusive psychologically I found it incredibly narcissistic and cult like. Addiction is like any other compulsion, like compulsive handwashing say. We approach it all wrong and I am clean and well adjusted and happy because me. No program or community or addiction counseling did that. I did that. In spite of “help” that gaslight and psychologically abused me. Gabor maté has a good take on addiction.
That's the thing about recovery, one method doesn't work for all. Shitting on a method that didn't work for you helps who? Just think right now someone may be reading this article who has worked up the courage to walk through those thousand pound doors ,and reads that the AA community is psychologically abusive, narcissistic, and cult like. What then? My whole family suffers from addiction. Mother, Father, and six of us kids. The grandkids didn't get spared either. Three brothers lost their battle, two grandkids, lost their battle, one sister is still fighting it. My sister and I are both clean and sober. Both of us took different paths, for different reasons but neither path was wrong. We are both clean and sober and living good lives. She just celebrated 15 years and I 31years. I'm truley sorry for what you went through in AA. But you perseverd and found what worked for you to achieve 14 years. It doesn't matter how you get there, as long as you get there.
I didn't project nothing on you. You said that the abstinence (AA) community can be abusive psychologically that you found it incredibly narcissistic and cult like. Your words, not words I projected onto your experience. That's why I said one method doesn't work for everyone. What I did say is that I wouldn't shit on, mock, or deride, other people's decisions on getting clean and sober no matter how they did it. Which you did.
Great piece, and congratulations on 8 years!!! I would add that med schools or continuing Ed need to increase training about addiction and alcoholism. A couple of years ago one of my sponsees was in the psych ward after an epic bender. She asked me to be with her when she met with the psychiatrist before release. This doc told a real alcoholic that she had to “choose” between drinking or taking benzos, that it was the combo that landed her in the psych ward. No discussion of sobriety, just choose. I was horrified.
Congratulations and kudos to you on your recovery. It is a long, hard road, one that requires daily commitment. And, to have those who succeed no longer hiding it! My life has been impacted deeply by my father's alcoholism and my son's addictions. My father found AA and many years of sobriety. My dear son, after many attempts, treatments, and far too many prescribed pills, lost the battle due to fentanyl poisoning earlier this year. This is a new war because of that deadly addition to all misused substances. The large numbers thrown around by politicians do not tell the story of the anguish and loss felt by family and friends, many who were also committed, futilely, to helping their loved ones overcome their addiction. We have a national crisis, an emergency, that has been reduced to sound bites.
I am so sorry about your son and the grief and suffering that echoes on for years. I will keep him and your family in my prayers. Fentanyl has changed the game; so many are dying from this hidden killer.
Good for you writing this and thank you. I had spent most of my life affiliated with the side of this discussion that turned people into addicts, I watched them struggle, I watched them fail, I watched them die. The majority don't come out the other side and I'm genuinely glad you're one of them and seeking to spare others the agony you went through.
Congratulations on your hared earned sobriety. It's true that knowledge is power, and the earlier we receive it the more powerful it is. Lessons I learned early on from my AlAnon mother to protect me from following the footsteps of my alcoholic father stuck with me. I drink, but I've always been cognizant of where it can lead and have policed myself throughout my life. Thank you for sharing, Audra. ZL
Congratulations on your sobriety and may you successfully maintain it.
Thank you for your time and for sharing your thoughts Audra.
Well done!
I was a cocaine fiend and a crackhead. I have been clean 14 years. I disagree with the disease model and the abstinence (AA) community can be abusive psychologically I found it incredibly narcissistic and cult like. Addiction is like any other compulsion, like compulsive handwashing say. We approach it all wrong and I am clean and well adjusted and happy because me. No program or community or addiction counseling did that. I did that. In spite of “help” that gaslight and psychologically abused me. Gabor maté has a good take on addiction.
That's the thing about recovery, one method doesn't work for all. Shitting on a method that didn't work for you helps who? Just think right now someone may be reading this article who has worked up the courage to walk through those thousand pound doors ,and reads that the AA community is psychologically abusive, narcissistic, and cult like. What then? My whole family suffers from addiction. Mother, Father, and six of us kids. The grandkids didn't get spared either. Three brothers lost their battle, two grandkids, lost their battle, one sister is still fighting it. My sister and I are both clean and sober. Both of us took different paths, for different reasons but neither path was wrong. We are both clean and sober and living good lives. She just celebrated 15 years and I 31years. I'm truley sorry for what you went through in AA. But you perseverd and found what worked for you to achieve 14 years. It doesn't matter how you get there, as long as you get there.
Congratulations on your fabulous projection onto my experience. You know nothing of me. 😂. I said what I said. Enjoy your life. Peace.
I didn't project nothing on you. You said that the abstinence (AA) community can be abusive psychologically that you found it incredibly narcissistic and cult like. Your words, not words I projected onto your experience. That's why I said one method doesn't work for everyone. What I did say is that I wouldn't shit on, mock, or deride, other people's decisions on getting clean and sober no matter how they did it. Which you did.
Great piece, and congratulations on 8 years!!! I would add that med schools or continuing Ed need to increase training about addiction and alcoholism. A couple of years ago one of my sponsees was in the psych ward after an epic bender. She asked me to be with her when she met with the psychiatrist before release. This doc told a real alcoholic that she had to “choose” between drinking or taking benzos, that it was the combo that landed her in the psych ward. No discussion of sobriety, just choose. I was horrified.
Congratulations and kudos to you on your recovery. It is a long, hard road, one that requires daily commitment. And, to have those who succeed no longer hiding it! My life has been impacted deeply by my father's alcoholism and my son's addictions. My father found AA and many years of sobriety. My dear son, after many attempts, treatments, and far too many prescribed pills, lost the battle due to fentanyl poisoning earlier this year. This is a new war because of that deadly addition to all misused substances. The large numbers thrown around by politicians do not tell the story of the anguish and loss felt by family and friends, many who were also committed, futilely, to helping their loved ones overcome their addiction. We have a national crisis, an emergency, that has been reduced to sound bites.
I am so sorry about your son and the grief and suffering that echoes on for years. I will keep him and your family in my prayers. Fentanyl has changed the game; so many are dying from this hidden killer.