Sex is one of the most talked about, obsessed over, and sought-out human practices. It is often referred to as the most natural human taboo. And yet, there exists an even more natural and more taboo subject.
A subject so uncomfortable most would do anything to avoid discussion of it. And yet this taboo is indeed the most natural and inevitable of all human practices. Nothing alive can escape it.
And that is, of course, death.
I saw a clip of a Tucker Carlson speech recently discussing this very thing. He stated that so much of our anxiety stems from a fear of death. Growing up, he said, in an extremely affluent town this was the one topic that was completely forbidden to discuss. Aging, sickness, and death despite being the cause of so much underlying dread and an inevitability for us all, was the one thing even the most open-minded and tolerant were not willing to entertain.
I too believe our impending physical decline and ultimate doom are indeed the reason for much of our discomfort, depression, and poor mental health. So why don't we talk about it?
I remember when I witnessed my first death, that of my beloved Abuelita. She was sweet, happy, and very goofy, always one to laugh. Despite having little education, terrible cataracts, and not knowing how to drive she insisted on living alone until she could no longer do so at 93. Shortly after moving her into assisted living, and suffering from severe depression, she had fallen into a coma-like state. She was then placed in a hospice.
After arriving at the hospice, I was shocked at seeing her twisted body gasping for air over and over. I became belligerent with the staff, demanding to know why my grandmother was being starved and unable to breathe. I didn’t understand what was happening. The staff explained to me that this is how we die naturally. And they gave me a pamphlet explaining it.
Apparently, all the talk of dying peacefully with family nearby is a lie. There is nothing peaceful about death. We say this to make ourselves feel better. I was even told that they believe once the starvation sets in, the body goes into a euphoric-like state, with hearing the last thing to go.
Almost no one talks about this. We all learn this the hard way. Natural death is scary, anxiety-producing, and sometimes even violent.
I watched her gasping get more intense until my father who had a tumultuous relationship with her finally made his peace. She let out one final breath and was gone.
I was shocked that this is somehow the way many of us will likely die and yet no one knows this. It’s like an open secret. Unless you’ve experienced it you have no clue. A couple of years later my mother passed away in the exact same circumstances.
A significant amount of the internet is dedicated to sex and pornography. So much of our lives revolve around perversion, smut, and sex. Yet very little takes into account the one thing every single living creature will endure.
I understand that for many death causes extreme discomfort. Nobody wants to think of aging, sickness, and death. But we are reminded of it everywhere. When we look in the mirror, go to the doctor, and even when simply getting out of bed.
No one has ever escaped it, and no one ever will.
Recently there has been an obsession from the left to inundate children with messages about sex. Including graphic sex. They spend so much time worrying about children’s understanding of sex. But care little for children’s understanding of violence, sickness, and death which are aspects of life much more prevalent than sex.
My four-year-old recently asked me ‘do old people die’? Yes, I told him. ‘Do kids die’, he then asked. Yes, sometimes they do, I responded. Children need to know that death does indeed happen to children.
When doing some research to see what the liberal view of discussing death with children was, I found that one of the recommendations when talking about death is to tell children we can only die if we’re very very sick. This is, of course, not true. Many die suddenly and/or with little to no symptoms.
It’s odd how so many feel vehemently that kids need to know about sex, but simultaneously do not believe that kids need to know about death. Sickness, violence, and death we all experience, and in much greater amounts than sex, and certainly much earlier.
In most places around the world, and for most humans who ever lived, death and sickness have been a very common and forefront issue. We are very lucky that it’s not like that here in the West. In our society, we have products to help delay aging and the best medical facilities on Earth to give us the best chances at not just survival but a higher quality of life.
So much of our mental health issues surround uncertainties and things we cannot control. But we don’t have to feel anxious about things we can’t control. We can feel peace about them if we understand them, respect them, and anticipate them.
Life has an expiration date, whether we want to admit it or not. We all age, get sick, and die.
Although death, the ultimate unknown is possibly the scariest journey, it doesn't have to be. We can use the existence of our demise as a way to appreciate every day we are alive.
Most people in the world suffer. We are some of the luckiest people not only on this planet but who may have ever lived. Maybe if we spent more time talking about death, and making peace with it we could recognize this.
Sex is a natural human taboo that makes many of us uncomfortable at times, but we talk about it and do so often (maybe too often). It's time to take on the greatest of all human taboos. Rather than talk about sex, let's talk about death.
Wrong Speak is a free-expression platform that allows varying viewpoints. All views expressed in this article are the author's own.
I couldn't agree more and this is such an important discussion so thank you for discussing the ultimate taboo subject. As my avatar and handle suggest, I consider my own demise every day. Not because I am morbidly obsessed with death, but because it reminds me to embrace life every day. (And, as Tucker observed, because it militates against any neuroticism I might fall into.) There is a hospice nurse on YouTube who posts videos of those who are dying (with permissions, of course). Everyone should watch her channel to see what dying actually looks like (hint: usually it's not the peaceful embrace of that long night). https://www.youtube.com/@hospicenursejulie
Well said. I recently spoke to my classmates during a memorial service for those who had recently passed. I told them at our 45th reunion in 2028, many of us won't be here, including me. That sent gasp throughout the room. People approached me later asking if there was something wrong with me. You don't have to be sick to die and someone who is fine today can be sick and die tomorrow, not to mention the list of accidents that could claim our lives. My belief says prepare for this event by putting your faith in Christ. It doesn't make what's coming any easier but it provides hope and shows a need to be a better stronger person while we live this life we have. It is but a vapor or using the words from a song by Kansas, "all we are is dust in the wind."