Are We Being Weird?

Why Bullying And Insulting Women Is The Wrong Strategy

Many young women don't have children and don't plan to, and apparently, some of them own cats. I can't imagine why. Could it be because of our warped warring culture? There are people on the left saying the earth is dying, there is no hope for the future, and having children will just make things worse. So, what is the response of many in the Christian and conservative community?

Basically, "That's dumb; don't listen to them, do your duty, and pop out a kid.". I don't know why anyone would think that's a weird approach. Perhaps if we want women to start a family, we should take steps to create a culture where they feel hopeful, valued, and secure, not alienated, belittled, and alone.

A woman must find a good man before starting a family. That has become more difficult because everyone is lost in these little boxes. Most of our interactions are through social media, but no one truly "meets" someone online; they only make contact with them. You can't get a feel for who someone is unless you are with them face-to-face. Plus, meeting in person allows you to screen out bad cologne choices, poor bathing habits, and close talkers. We need third places, which is one of the many reasons I miss mall culture. 

Author and Founder of Wrong Speak Publishing’s 'Black Victim to Black Victor: Second Edition' is now available at Wrong Speak Publishing, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble! Pick up your copy today!

Oh, I know, lefties and even some conservatives see shopping malls as evil temples of consumerism. However, if you read the many pining comments under YouTube videos of malls, they're never waxing nostalgic about shopping. They're always about the hum of the crowds, meeting new people, or sharing outings with friends and family. In fact, many commenters describe meeting their spouse or having their first date at the mall. Who would have thought being a mall rat helped keep people socially grounded? 

Young people need more opportunities to meet in the course of daily life when the atmosphere is more relaxed and people are more open. The malls of previous decades, with their wide variety of shops, services, and restaurants, used to provide that environment. I know some people prefer the main street model, but malls are climate-controlled, thus less frizz.

Many conservative Christians say men should be in charge of everything, which sets up masculinity as the ideal. If that's the message women hear, why would they want to lean into their femininity and have babies? Many Christian men will figuratively pat women on the head and say motherhood and homemaking are important, then treat it as a supporting role to a man's main character. They are, in some cases, so condescending that they make women sound like nothing more than a man's remote womb. By the way, this message is often delivered with the cadence and inflection of a community theater production of Hamlet. What's up with that? 

Anyway, if we want young women to choose to have babies, care for them themselves, and avoid the harm of daycare, this is not the right approach. I saw one Christian woman on X say that she loved being a stay-at-home mom but found it degrading that so many other Christians on the platform said that's all women are qualified to do. We should share how children enhance our lives and how a mother's gifts and interests enrich their children's lives. Of course, there are trade-offs, but we should not act like mothers must give up any other hopes and dreams or they're evil and selfish.

Even if a young lady finds a man of integrity who respects and values her, many don't have a support system in place to help them face the intimidating process of pregnancy and childbirth. People will say this is the easiest time in history to have a child, but often, extended families have become scattered or nonexistent. So, the thought of facing what can be a difficult process without them can be daunting. When we have blessings like a close, caring, supportive family nearby, we can take it for granted and fail to consider that some are forced to make important life decisions without it. 

Many say if a woman chooses to have children, God will give her the grace to do it. You have to think God gets pretty annoyed when His loving attributes are used as an excuse to be dismissive of the needs of others. What we need is a prenatal Mary Poppins to show up when women are planning a family, but that's probably not practical because I think she's a fictional character, unfortunately. Still, women in the community can seek opportunities to reach out and encourage and guide younger women so they know they are not alone if they choose to build a family.

Attempting to scold and bully young women into having children is not godly or productive. Instead, we must push back against the atomization of society and work to restore our communities. We must recognize that a loving family is the foundation of a full, rich life, but saying it can only happen if young women accept the role of NPC is a lie. Also, we must demonstrate our willingness to be available to guide and encourage them in the process. Having children is wonderful, but framing it as some kind of creepy duty to the nation is weird.

Wrong Speak is a free-expression platform that allows varying viewpoints. All views expressed in this article are the author's own.