Jennifer Crumbley is a perfect example of how bad parenting, rising to the level of gross negligence, can turn deadly. Jennifer Crumbley, the mother of a teen, Ethan Crumbley who shot up a school in Michigan, was found guilty of four counts of involuntary manslaughter, for her role in this incident.
The Michigan law statute defines involuntary manslaughter as when one person kills another resulting from an accident or gross negligence. Gross negligence is defined as the following:
Gross negligence the prosecution repeatedly stated is a failure to exercise an “ordinary standard of care”. And after listening to the entire trial I believe the prosecution proved their case.
According to Ethan Crumbley’s text messages to his best friend, before the shooting Ethan told his parents that he was having severe mental health issues and they laughed at him. With full knowledge of Ethan’s problems, James Crumbley bought Ethan a 9mm handgun, his mother Jennifer bought him ammunition, and they took him to the gun range to practice the weekend before the crime.
The day before the shooting he got in trouble at school for looking up bullets on his phone, to which his mother texted him stating “LOL I’m not mad. You have to learn not to get caught.”
On the day of the shooting, the school called his parents into a meeting because they confiscated a math assignment, pictured below. The words state the following: “The thoughts won’t stop, help me” “blood everywhere”, “the world is dead” and a laughing emoji was drawn.
The school counselor noted that when the parents walked into the meeting room with their son, faced with their child’s distress, neither parent even hugged their child. He described Jennifer’s demeanor that it was an inconvenience to be there.
The counselor had hoped that they would take their child to counseling immediately because he felt that Ethan was showing signs of suicidal ideation, and he communicated to both parents that he wanted Ethan seen by a professional that day. Jennifer told him that it wasn’t possible to do it that day, and he was taken aback.
This counselor, in the dozens of meetings he has had with parents about suicidal kids, had never experienced parents who he felt as if he had to push them to get their child help. He was so disturbed by their demeanor, that he planned to follow up with Ethan the next morning and if his parents still had not formed any plans to take him to counseling, he was going to call child protective services.
The meeting was incredibly brief, less than fifteen minutes, and in that time period, Jennifer did not tell the school that days earlier they had purchased a weapon for Ethan. She did not ask Ethan if he had the weapon on him. She did nothing. So, Ethan went back to class where he subsequently killed four of his classmates.
I think the drawing that matched the description of the gun his parents bought for him, the text messages she received from Ethan, as well as the boy telling them that he needed mental help prior to the gun purchase was enough information that a reasonable person's response would be to get their child help right away, that day. And, Jennifer's failure to communicate with the school about the gun, get her son help, or do anything to mitigate these circumstances rises to the level of gross negligence.
Jennifer tried to defend herself against the accusations that she neglected her son's mental health, and she took the stand in her own defense. When her attorney asked Jennifer about text messages she received from Ethan regarding demon possession, seeing objects moving around by themselves, and hearing people in the house when he was home alone, she still stated that she did not think that he was showing signs of mental illness, and she eluded to a lack of health insurance for a reason why she did not take him to the doctor.
Well, quite frankly I don’t believe her. In addition to the text messages from Ethan alluding to hallucinations, her web search history shows that she was researching clinical depression and she expressed to the mother of Ethan’s only friend that he seemed depressed. Additionally, spending roughly $20,000 a year on horses means to me that she had the money to take him to counseling but chose to spend it elsewhere.
If she was so sure that her son was perfectly fine, why did she, when she heard of the shooting taking place via the school's alert system, run back to her house to make sure the gun was still there? It’s almost as if she knew that the gun was not secure. She also told her friend Brian the day of the shooting that she was concerned that Ethan was “going to do something stupid.”
In Ethan’s journal, he wrote that he hadn’t felt generally happy in years, and he detailed his torture of baby birds, (including when he ripped the baby bird's heads off) although these writings were excluded from the jury and therefore didn’t factor into their decision. I bring it up though, because of the idea that a child could escalate to the point where he was ripping the heads off tiny animals, and his parents had zero clue that he was struggling mentally, I’m sorry I simply do not believe it.
But, this shooting is just the tragic end to a series of poor parenting decisions, and quite frankly she is perhaps one of the most permissive as well as uninvolved mothers that I have ever seen.
Imagine not making your child brush their teeth properly after they got braces, and complaining that they got cavities because he wouldn’t use his water pick. Or allowing your teenager to not clean his room, and it becoming such a pigsty that they moved into the guest bedroom.
His grades were poor and the only thing Jennifer could think to do was take away his cell phone, she did not breathe a word about getting him some tutoring or even taking time out of her schedule to help him with his homework. But she did find the time and money to buy her son ammunition, “Patriot Defense Rounds” for the murder weapon.
Not tending to your child’s needs is parental neglect. And Jennifer was neglectful, not just for refusing to get Ethan help, but because she simply was not there. She was busy with an elaborate sex life, an expensive horse hobby, a highly demanding job, and just about anything else but being with her child. And when she was there, according to her own words, she bought him whatever he asked for and let him do whatever he wanted.
I absolutely believe Jennifer’s parenting contributed to her son's issues. I have no doubt that she loved her son, but sometimes love simply isn’t enough. Neglectful parenting can lead to aggression, and permissive parenting can lead children to have sociopathic traits, which Ethan clearly demonstrated when he decided to torture baby animals. Yet despite all the evidence presented, she stated that she doesn’t feel as though she was a failure as a parent and that she wouldn’t have done anything differently.
Jennifer Crumbly encompasses a perfect example about how we choose to tolerate child neglect and excuse a lot of what we see as “They’re just doing their best.” From not helping with homework, to not even providing the basics like clean laundry, child neglect has become rampant.
We used to as a society blame parents, especially mothers, for things that were not their fault, and we have now swung in the completely opposite direction to society’s detriment.
We cannot continue to ignore the plague of bad parenting that has taken root in our society and we must be willing to hold parents accountable when their decisions harm others.
Wrong Speak is a free-expression platform that allows varying viewpoints. All views expressed in this article are the author's own.
Amen to this. Parenting is a serious job (privilege, role, whatever word suits you). We should be raising our kids to be responsible, well adjusted adults. It’s a huge responsibility!! It boggles my mind the lackadaisical mindset many parents have.
We’ve made it 18 and 20 for our son and daughter. The hardest and most enriching role in my life has been to raise these 2. We’ve had major struggles with mental health and came to a head post 2020. Our teens are in a healthy and stable place now but it was hell getting here. Seeing them turn into young productive adults is pure joy.