“Man proceeds in the fog. But when he looks back to judge people of the past, he sees no fog on their path. From his present, which was their faraway future, their path looks perfectly clear to him, good visibility all the way. Looking back, he sees the path, he sees the people proceeding, he sees their mistakes, but not the fog.”
-- Milan Kundera, Testaments Betrayed: An Essay in Nine Parts
I’m online too much. Clearly.
This is hardly surprising since, as I recently said, I’m not the outdoor type.
Nor am I the handyman type who can spend the day puttering around the house fixing this and that, or perhaps rebuilding a car in my spare time. As a friend of mine likes to say, “I have two tools, a phone and a credit card.” I have better things to do with my time.
I like to read, and I like to think. Being online is not a requirement, but there’s only so much time I can spend at the library, and let’s be honest, there’s not much there.
That leaves me with the internet.
So ya, I’m online too much. Clearly.
As a result, I read a lot of stupid takes on different subjects. I mean A LOT.
Socialism, tariffs, “globalize the intifada,” you name it, I’ve probably run across it.
Lately, though, the stupid take that annoys me the most comes in this form:
“The boomers…” followed by a topic (housing, feminism, employment, halitosis, whatever) and why they’re to blame.
It annoys me, not because I’m a boomer – I’m not – and not because so many of today’s problems can’t be traced to actions taken during their peak years – they can - but because it assigns blame to everyone and gives them an almost super-villain level of power and foresight.
Here’s a perfect example:
If this isn’t the ravings of a moron, then it’s the ravings of a simple-minded, envious, and spiteful moron.
“Houses are expensive because boomers won’t sell.”
“Boomers ruined the economy.”
“Boomers caused the climate crisis.”
The litany goes on and on. I’m honestly surprised people aren’t blaming boomers for male pattern baldness and cancer (I haven’t done a deep dive, so maybe they are).
It’s also framed in the same way that feminists use the term patriarchy, as if boomers hold a weekly board of directors meeting in which they decide how to ruin the world and the lives of their children and grandchildren.
At a certain level, I understand it. When times are tough, it’s always tempting to look for someone to blame. If a problem can be traced to decisions made by boomers, then not only are boomers to blame, but they all must have been in on it, and it must have been intentional. “The law of unintended consequences? Never heard of it.”
Of course, most people are just leading their lives and trying to do what’s best for themselves and their families. I’m reminded of the Steve Marin quote from All of Me:
“Just because my grandfather didn't rape the environment and exploit the workers doesn't make me a peasant. And it's not that he didn't want to rape the environment and exploit the workers, I'm sure he did. It's just that as a barber, he didn't have that much opportunity.”
Most boomers were “barbers.” No, not literally, that’s why it’s in quotes. It just means that they had limited power to affect global affairs as do the rest of us.
If they didn’t care about the environment, it’s because nobody did. It wasn’t an issue. In fact, television in the 70s was still talking about the pending ice age. They didn’t buy houses, or save money, or invest, or raise children because they had a long-term plan to ruin the world; they were doing what everyone does, trying to live their lives as best they could.
The irony of this anti-boomer rhetoric is that the counterculture movement of the 60s, for which the boomers were responsible (see even I blame them), placed the blame for all the world’s problems of the time (racism, war, sexism, poverty, etc.) at the feet of their parents. “If only the man hadn’t screwed everything up, everything would be groovy!”
I guess history does repeat itself.
The young are lazy, and the old are evil
I get it, you’re in your 20’s, maybe your 30’s, and you’re struggling to get by in, what everyone will concede, is a hard world and the advice you received wasn’t the best, or perhaps you wish your parents had done things differently.
Why didn’t my parents teach me this or that? How could they not have known what bad advice that would be when I grew up? Didn’t they know the world would change?
Why were they so hard on me? If only I’d been given the freedom to do and think what I’d wanted to, I’d be a much more emotionally balanced person.
Why weren’t they harder on me? If only they’d given me more structure, I’d have worked harder in school and been more successful.
Maybe it takes growing up, maturing, before you understand.
A little wisdom and life experience goes a long way.
Having children probably doesn’t hurt either.
Why did your parents do what they did? Because they were doing what they thought was best.
What? You thought they hated you? You think your spouse, significant other, boy/girlfriend loves you? Let me enlighten you to something you can’t understand until you’ve had children: nobody loves you like your parents. Nobody!
So, yes, they got some things wrong. Who doesn’t? Being wrong doesn’t make you evil; it makes you human. Sadly, so does unwarranted resentment.
Take my advice. Take it!!!
I’m learning that nobody wants advice; they want permission. In this case, they want permission to be bitter and to blame their problems on someone else. I’m not granting it. Instead, I’m going to give some unasked-for advice:
Grow up.
Nobody had a perfect childhood.
Nobody had perfect parents.
Everyone has to unlearn some bad lessons.
Everyone has to adjust to a difficult world. Did you think the world was a paradise when your parents were 25? You aren’t the first generation to face difficult times. Here’s a quote from Fight Club, the great Gen X movie:
We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.
Guess what? We survived; we got over it; we grew up. If any member of Gen X is still pissed off, well, I guess Chad Kroeger and Nickelback are right, this life hasn't turned out quite the way they want it to be. Just like everyone else.
Stop blaming other people for your problems and start doing what you can to make your life better. Make a budget, settle down, work hard, no, work harder… than everyone else. If it’s too expensive where you live, move. If you can’t get a job with your degree/training, get a new education/skill… that people actually need… and no, it probably won’t fulfill all your life’s dreams, but it may pay the bills. Take satisfaction in that. Maybe eat out less often and waste less money on tattoos. What, am I stereotyping your generation? Too bad, turnabout is fair play.
The version of you that takes my advice will be better off in ten years than the version of you that is filled with unwarranted resentment and envy.
But why listen to me? I’m not young enough to know everything.
Phil is a freelance writer, Canadian Navy veteran, and classical liberal. He has lived and worked in both Canada and the United States and currently resides in Vancouver, British Columbia, where he writes on politics, individual rights, free speech, and anything else that catches his fancy.
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Judging people en masse by "when" they were born is as useful as judging others by their gender or skin color. Political history, even when accompanied by mass killings/genocide attempts, is a continuum, not a solo event.
As Christopher Caldwell points out in the excellent The Age of Entitlement, much of the policy for which Boomers are blamed was put into place way before they showed up, or when they were too young to have enacted it. An example would be no-fault divorce and de-stigmatization of divorce. Deregulation was unfolded as many Boomers were just graduating high school and going to college.
That said, my parents, inlaws, and step-inlaws are all Boomers, and they can be difficult to tolerate. (We’re Xers.) They think money and cheap real estate are out there for the picking, and that those of us who came after them have a lot more choices in life than we do. “Just leave your job and find another higher-paying one.”
They’re all earlier Boomers (born before 1955) and think college is still “putting on a pink sweater and going to the ice-cream social with Bill in the sportcoat who’s going somewhere in the plastics industry.”
At least you can tranquillize them with a TV set.