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Being someone who didn't join a gang in prison was a nightmare. It's commonly seen as having a death wish. I was no exception. However, what began as my greatest vulnerability later turned into my greatest strength. Had I known what I was getting myself into, I would not have chosen that path were there any other options available. That said, looking back, I couldn't imagine having done it any other way.
I was "Hollywood" the gang Broker.
Going back to just fresh off the bus as a kid I can't claim any moral high ground in my non-affiliation with any of the established prison gangs. My race excluded me from half of them and an existing bounty on my life from a white gang made me persona non grata to the rest. I may have been proud and ornery but I was also terrified. Therefore my path between the gangs and organizations was not a choice I made but rather one made for me.
It's commonly understood that standing on your own in the joint is considered a death sentence. I was not above this matter. While I received much sympathy and advice from the other men inside, I enjoyed no direct help. No man or group would stand for me, none would fight on my side. I was on my own. That is, until I made my bones. Everything changed once I had a name.
I couldn't lean on the threat of other established men nor had protection from the knowledge that they would avenge me or ride with me into battle. Not yet at least. In light of this, without any plan of action, I became a doppelganger of the men who sought to victimize me. I studied them like a scientist, learned what placed them so high on the food chain, and I mimicked it. As with anyone pretending to be something they're not, I got it wrong. I went over the top. I became a parody, an exaggeration of a Convict. I became my environment in every conceivable way as if I had been born inside those walls.
To quote Rorschach, my mentality became “I’m not locked in here with you. You’re locked in here with me!”
The early years were a nightmare. I had to be more violent than violent men. Gen pop had to see me stand against the guards even to protect the ones who were out to get me. I couldn't make a single mistake. In prison, you're measured by your worst, not your best. It wasn't enough to win and be a stand-up guy even a thousand times. I had to be flawless because one misstep would make survival impossible. By the time I was 20, I was brash enough to call out other prisoners for stepping outside of the code.
Then came the day I showed up in a block with knives strapped to both hands. Word had reached me that one of the gangs were coming because I ran a store in my block where one of their guys ran one too. Their G was playing dominoes when I told him to get the fuck up. He looked at me, then a dozen or so of his boys standing around and laughed "this crazy white boy here" with a smile.
"Crazy white boy". I had arrived. For a white man, being called that by an established black man meant the drama was over. It's not a rule and most don't even know what it meant when they said it. However, it acknowledges you while allowing them to step back and save face. Cooler heads prevailed in that confrontation and from there on everything felt almost easy. I had finally reached the threshold and made my bones. Not long after some guys jokingly started calling me "Hollywood" since Cons gossiped more about the guys I fought than about me. It began as a roast but morphed into a title.
I tattooed it across my back in big block letters. When men you've never met tell stories about the things you've done, you made certain that everyone knows you're that guy. All of this led to what would ultimately become my role there. I became a penitentiary broker.
There was no shortage of strong men in prison. Nor was there an absence of intelligent, reasonable, problem solvers who could easily find solutions to the issues faced by the many gangs. The complication was that these men all belonged to one of those gangs having problems. Anything they said, no matter how accurate, was viewed as biased and therefore useless. I, on the other hand, did not suffer from that disqualifying factor. I did business with everyone and had no direct loyalty to any of them as well.
The first time I was approached it was by a Latin King. While they were a smaller gang in this prison they were widely respected for their viciousness. They were having problems with the Skinheads over a potential new drug route for bringing product in. They had no problem going to war over it however he said to me, "I see you slingin' with them. It ain't theirs to have, ya know? Maybe they'd listen to you" He was a stand-up man and we'd done business on many occasions, so I agreed to see what the Skinheads would say.
One conversation turned into dozens with me going back and forth between the two gangs. As is the solution to most conflicts in the joint, this too was able to be resolved with money where both sides save face. No violence necessary. The Kings logically had a better position to utilize this specific route with success while the Skinheads had the established customer base. They agreed on a split that made both sides richer and that was the end of the matter.
This would largely become my identity and my most lucrative hustle. Men pay well to not have to kill each other. I was able and even expected to, maneuver through all of the gangs without threat from any of the others. The kid who started out with no affiliation with any of them suddenly found himself under the protection of all of them. Not too shabby for a crazy white boy.
The Prison Broker
Thank you for the fascinating insight.