​South Park Did It Better​

Disney Is Doing It Again

They just can’t seem to help themselves, can they?

Disney released the first three episodes of the second season of Andor on April 22, 2025, and I am so looking forward to watching them. Scratch that, I’m now dreading it.

I loved the first season. Like all shows it wasn’t perfect – it took some time to get going – but it was grittier that the standard Star Wars drivel that Disney craps out (I’m looking at you The Book of Boba Fett). Even The Mandalorian, which probably received more praise than all the other series combined, was only mediocre.

It started strong, but then quickly became mostly about oohing and awing over Baby Yoda. Plots, where there were any, and character development rarely rose above the level that would excite a 12-year-old boy. If that offends you, put down your Richie Rich comic and go read a book…no, not in the Young Adult or Romance section. Try literature.

Are my standards too high? I don’t know, is it unreasonable to expect characters to behave like real people and plots to have fewer holes than Swiss cheese? I can even excuse a few plot holes if you promise to treat me like an adult. Wait, not that adult!

Yes, Disney, no longer satisfied with infusing its Star Wars franchises with wokeness and social justice themes has now decided that depicting rape in Andor is a good idea. Why wouldn’t they, right? I mean, in a show about aliens, warp speed travel, people who can move objects with their minds, and ten-year-old girls who can repair spaceships, why would brutal, graphic realism be out of place?

Andor creator Tony Gilroy explained that when telling a story about a war, shying away from sexual assault didn’t feel truthful.

“I mean, let’s be honest, man: The history of civilization, there’s a huge arterial component of it that’s rape. All of us who are here — we are all the product of rape. I mean armies and power throughout history [have committed rape]. So, to not touch on it, in some way … It just was organic, and it felt right, coming about as a power trip for this guy.

Oh well, if it felt “organic,” then of course, it clearly belongs.

Read the room moron! People aren’t tuning into Star Wars for deep takes on geopolitical or social justice issues. For that, they have Sesame Street. Star Wars was and should continue to be about escapism.

“But wait,” you say, “Star Wars has always been a violent show. One of the very first scenes in the very first Star Wars movies showed rebel soldiers and stormtroopers getting shot, and characters are always getting killed in violent ways. Why is that ok, but depicting rape isn’t?” Good question (not really). This is true, but you know what Star Wars doesn’t have? Scenes of stormtroopers being blown to bits and their shell-shocked comrades weeping over the gory remains.

Scenes showing Imperial Officers slowly walking up to the house of a dead Stormtrooper to tell his mom he isn’t coming home. You know why? Because Star Wars is supposed to be escapism. Know your audience and know where to draw the line. Here’s a suggestion; if you’d be uncomfortable talking to a 10 your old kid about the scene it doesn’t belong in Star Wars…and if you tell me you’d be comfortable discussing rape with a 10-year-old there’s something wrong with you (I’m not saying you shouldn’t, I’m just saying the conversation should be awkward or you’re not doing it right).

Here’s another bit of advice: have a little humility. You’re writing/directing Star Wars, not the next Oscar-winning holocaust movie (don’t get me started). When you’re as successful as Steven Spielberg you can write and direct the next Saving Private Ryan and include all the gore and rape you want. Until then, your job is to pump out (hopefully not too) mediocre entertainment to provide people with temporary respite from the troubles of the world and their daily lives.

Some advice to Disney in general:

South Park has taken a few shots at Disney and Star Wars over the years:

• The China Probrem is (in)famously for showing George Lucas and Spielberg in the act of "raping" a stormtrooper as a critique of what it saw as the exploitation or degradation of cherished cultural icons for commercial gain.

  

• Band in China depicted Mickey Mouse as an immoral Disney businessman working in communist China as a way to parody media censorship in China and how US companies compromise productions to avoid it.

• South Park: Joining the Panderverse poked fun at Disney’s lazy “token diversity,” depicting Cartman in the role of Disney President Kathleen Kennedy.

If South Park lampoons you once, you’ve made a mistake. If it happens several times, you need to reassess your life choices, as the saying goes.

Stop claiming you make decisions out of some moral sense of duty. It’s not worth the effort. Anyone dumb enough to believe it is too dumb to notice you’re morally compromised in the first place. Just shut up and tell us a story.

Disney has owned numerous beloved characters since childhood. Please leave graphic realism for adult shows to tackle. The last thing I want is Disney’s interpretation of Winnie the Poo to include a scene in which Chrisopher Robin is brutally torn apart by Poo because “bear attacks happen in the wild.” Scratch that, the last thing I want to see is rape in a Star Wars show. I’ll watch it, but I won’t like it, a sentiment I’m sure you’ve grown used to, given the quality of the shows you’ve been releasing.

Wrong Speak is a free-expression platform that allows varying viewpoints. All views expressed in this article are the author's own.