Rethinking Birth

Birth is natural to every woman but rarely openly discussed unless a woman is pregnant. I think back to my first birth and so badly wish I would have known more about birth. I wish I would have known that where and how a woman births can have a deep effect on her postpartum recovery process.

My first birth was not magical nor was it pleasant. The birth was 23 hours long and full of medical interventions that I now know were unnecessary. Toward the end of my birth, my medical team seemed inconvenienced and annoyed, so I was threatened with a cesarean section if I did not hurry up. After I forcefully pushed out my baby boy, he was taken away to have intrusive medical routines performed on him. I was left with nurses pushing on my belly urging my body to birth the placenta. Although it was extremely painful and I wanted it to stop, I didn’t know that I could simply ask them to stop.

When I eventually held my baby, I was scolded by another nurse because I wanted to co-sleep with him. Again, my baby was taken from me, wrapped in a hospital blanket, and placed in a hard plastic bassinet. This was followed by hourly check-ins, to make sure baby and mom were resting and recovering well. There wasn’t much rest or recovering with those hourly check-ins.

The following day wasn’t any better. The hospital’s lactation consultant couldn’t figure out why my son couldn’t breastfeed, so she gave up and offered formula. After my husband and I were finally released, we went home dumbfounded by what we had experienced at the hospital.

My postpartum recovery wasn’t smooth either. It took me a few years of reflecting on my birthing experience to conclude that I was left on the verge of postpartum depression because of the way my birth was handled at a hospital by medical professionals. Although my husband was the best support I had, he didn’t know about postpartum recovery. He did the best he could and his support led me out of the terrible baby blues that could have led to postpartum depression.

My hospital birth experience led me on a journey to learn more about the birthing process. That is how I quickly discovered that my birthing experience is common and there are many women in the United States that live with traumatic birth experiences. Some women can recover from that trauma on their own and some suppress the trauma and think it’s normal.

In the United States, pregnant women go through a highly medicalized birthing journey. Prenatal care often comes with many tests that women do not know they can decline. When a woman is in labor, hospitals can be invasive places that slow down a mother’s natural birthing instincts. When obstetricians don’t know how to handle a situation, they will immediately call for a cesarean section. It is no surprise that the United States has a 30% cesarean section rate. One of the highest rates of any country. This happens due to lack of knowledge and of course, money. The more care, procedures, and tests a woman goes through when she is pregnant, the more hospitals and clinics make.

Fortunately, alternatives do exist. A healthy, low-risk pregnant woman does not have to birth at a hospital. She can birth at home or at a birthing center. The COVID pandemic created hostile environments for women to birth creating a demand for homebirths. Suddenly midwives found themselves booked and unable to take on more pregnant women under their care. While each state has their laws and regulations for midwifery practice, many women were willing to travel out of state to have the birth they wanted.

This was my experience with my second birth. I knew that I was not going to comply with any COVID testing, nor was I going to wear a mask while I gave birth. My husband and I discussed the possibility of home birth and I am happy that is the choice we made. I interviewed my midwife and immediately knew she was the one. She respected our stance on COVID, listened to my worries, and came to my home for care. She taught me about informed consent and how it is crucial to establish a relationship of trust between the midwife and the mother she cares for. She explained the pros and cons of every prenatal test and gave me the choice to decline any test. When the big day arrived, she was hands-off and let my Husband and I be in the moment. She handled our birth with so much care and let me hold my baby immediately. There were no interventions, no hourly check-ins, and no threats made. My postpartum recovery process was quick, and I felt like myself again within days.

While home birth is not a possibility for all pregnant women, it is important to know that informed consent is crucial in the birthing process. Pregnant women must learn their rights and know how to advocate for themselves. Having the birth a woman wants starts with that woman knowing that she can dictate what happens during her birth. We hired our medical team, and we tell them what we want during such a sacred moment of our lives.