Men Should Stop Wearing Shorts

When I think of the fashion world, which I do very little, I probably envision a scene similar to most; impossibly upright models adorning designer clothes while practically floating on a catwalk like a swan does on water. I think of hopelessly superficial people who seem to care about what can only be described as the very surface of things, of people, and are more than willing to meaninglessly philosophize about it all.

Without much knowledge of the inner workings of that world, I can only assume a film like 2001’s Zoolander probably got the fashion world about right. A world where what one wears, how one appears, and who is designing whom are the most important questions. For some, it is not the fashion world, but rather, fashion is the world.

While I could never go to the lengths that I describe above, there is a small piece of me, at times, that longs for a world, a world of not that long ago, where there was a lot more care and consideration to how one dresses in the public sphere. There used to be some semblance of pride, of self-respect, of dignity on display––for not only those around you––but also, as a projection of yourself, to the world.

Have you been to an airport lately? When did it become acceptable to wear pajamas through the terminals of an airport, practically walking half-dazed with a sleep mask around your neck, and already wearing your neck ring pillow? As a kid who grew up in and around airports, I was always taught to have a little more respect for the miracle that is human aviation. And while it seems I might be a little precious on this point, I think the phenomenon I describe here is far more important than many people believe.

The truth is, most people dress like shit. They don’t give a damn, or they just don’t have a clue one way or another. It is not simply an American phenomenon, it is worldwide. But America has had to do quite a bit of introspection as of late.

There is a growing feeling that the country which many grew up in and the dreams many have tried their hardest to pursue are simply not there anymore. That while many Americans feel worked to exhaustion, like an old truck stuck in the mud, many are also damn lazy. Yes, I would say there is a sneaking suspicion that America has let itself go; let itself go in every possible direction.

There is zero expectation to wear decent shoes anymore, just slip on some Crocs; no need to watch your beltline, just get a XXXL doublewide t-shirt to hide your belly. And I know what a reader might potentially be thinking–that these points may seem a bit cheap, especially when there are so many other things to worry about, like real things; how to pay rent or the mortgage, what will I do if someone gets sick? Will tech come for my job, will the economy at large collapse? How could clothing and appearance matter, when mentioned alongside the many major crises of our times? Well, I don’t know how to prove it, but in my opinion, appearances do matter; what we wear absolutely matters.

Why? For one, it is not just the one or two citizens doting on over to Wal-Mart for milk and bread, deciding to go shirtless, or shoeless, but it is a phenomenon on a much larger scale. Grocery stores are full of zombified drooling idiots wearing sweatpants and adults wearing cartoon-themed t-shirts. Our city streets are filled with people who would sincerely walk around naked if they could. And among these city streets, there are also needles, graffiti, and tagging on every available surface. Trash, debris, feces, and broken bodies lying in its gutters. Is this somehow a coincidence?

One of the great lines in No Country For Old Men was spoken by Tommy Lee Jones, who said:

"But I think once you quit hearing "sir" and "ma'am," the rest is soon to foller."

And while this quote is hard to exactly pen down, hard to draw a straight line between cordial respect and societal collapse, we–I think at least some of us–know exactly what he means by this line of generalized thinking. My argument here about appearances is not so dissimilar. I could easily say, “once men started wearing shorts in public…”

The way we dress, groom, smell, and the way we choose to present ourselves is not only a reflection of who we are and our individual value of self-worth, but also a reflection of the society in which we live. That to make oneself presentable to the public is to engage in a kind of social contract that says, essentially, and in spirit, we are all going to try.

We are here, in this society, and I am going to look my best for you, and you are going to try to look your best for me, and when we do that, all together, it is amazing how much more civilized we are. Equally impressive, how frightening the world becomes when everybody just stops giving a fuck. Because how we dress affects how we behave. And I believe that behavior and appearances have gone to hell, and quite some time ago. I am probably too late, but still sick of it.

As I said briefly before, America has had a rough go at it in the past few decades. While many are doing just fine, there is a mass awakening, an awakening from a delusion of a kind. That America is slipping through the fingers of deterioration. Cities are dingy and dirty. Small towns are losing their charm. Public spaces belong to the detritus.

What America needs to do is solve problems, from the basic to the highly complex. From the conceptual to the personal. The country needs to take a good long look in the mirror to find out where the country is, how it got there, and where it wants to go. And as long as you’re looking in the mirror, perhaps put on a decent shirt, comb your hair, freshen up for yourself and your neighbor. Perhaps, put on some pants and some real shoes. Because it is hard to imagine any problems getting solved with everybody running around in their pajamas.

Wrong Speak is a free-expression platform that allows varying viewpoints. All views expressed in this article are the author's own.