Haunted By The Ghosts Of 2020
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Haunted By The Ghosts Of 2020
2020 has impacted all of us in one way or another. Isolation, sickness, or the loss of a loved one were common occurrences.
I remember walking down the street alone or driving late at night (disobeying the curfew) to feed my feral/stray cat colonies obviously, I wouldn’t abandon my volunteer work. And I thought how bizarre it was to see the streets with no cars and the skies with no planes. It was as if the whole world has stopped in silence.
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I believe the only thing that kept me sane and alive was working out. The gyms were closed so I worked out at home and probably was in the best shape of my life. Not being able to wear a mask due to asthma and claustrophobia, my options were very limited.
Not having a lot of human contact or not being able to travel took a toll on me mentally and emotionally. I do live with my partner and my pets but still felt alone, as most of my time was spent at home while he was at work.
I feel the ghost of 2020 has remained till now. I sometimes have to remind myself businesses are open and I’m not required a mask to enter. I still remember the stress of going somewhere in 2020/21 and wondering if I wouldn’t be allowed in without a mask and who I would have to yell at and stand my ground.
I felt a lot of people abused the situation in order to control others. Some seemed to feel powerful requiring you to wear a mask. When you had to put a mask on, it felt no longer about safety. So I found myself being kicked out of a few establishments.
I wasn’t going to betray myself and put on a mask and feel ill just to participate in this game. That being said, I don’t mean to sound insensitive to those who were immunocompromised so I stayed home most of the time.
I never go anywhere if I’m sick, I’ve always been like that! It was really stressful and ridiculous to see people driving alone with masks and gloves on and masks while walking alone on the streets. All that caused me to be depressed. The world was petrified of living!
I believe all of us were affected by it and depressed in some way. I’m better now but still find myself at times having to remind myself everything is back to normal, or maybe a new normal.
Working out and the love I have at home, the love I feel for myself and from my dear friends and family is what keeps me going. I just feel the ghost of 2020 will haunt me for the rest of my life. Maybe it’s a good thing. It makes me appreciate the freedom I have now and not to ever take it for granted again.
 | A guest post by
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Haunted By The Ghosts Of 2020
I'm pretty sure I experienced what would have been diagnosed as clinical depression during the second half of 2020. It came from the constant exposure to scared humans who believed that OCD-fueled mask wearing was all that stood between them and the Grim Reaper.
It was a stupid time.
I often wonder if we had let the pandemic proceed without interventions, as they have always done in human history, and there would have been peaks of disease and death and chaotic scenes in hospitals but it would have passed through. Likely over in less time and we would all have terrible memories of the period but it would be done. We would feel we triumphed over it. Now we have the skeleton of an authoritarian system tested widely across the planet that can be resurrected at any time. Rolled out to shut down our existence, to control us, turn us against each other, force our decisions.....this is the ghost of the pandemic. It’s the scariest ghost I’ve ever encountered.