ADHD Or Not, It'll Be Okay!

I always lose followers whenever I talk about my ADHD. I either get “ADHD DOESN’T EXIST!” Or I get “ADHD is a debilitating disorder! How DARE you minimize its lifelong effects!”

Well, I’m here to piss off everyone equally by saying yes, ADHD exists, and no, actually you can live quite comfortably and accomplish quite a bit with it.

In fact, ADHD isn’t the end of my world, because I stopped continuing to fight against it (like I have my entire life), and learned to play off of my disability and use it to my advantage.

I had extensive testing done as a small child because I wouldn’t sleep and couldn’t sit still, but strangely, if I really liked a toy, I could sit and play with it for hours as a one-year-old. As I got older, the issues became more and more apparent. I couldn’t sit still in preschool to save my soul, but if I really liked something, focusing on it for four or more hours was normal for me.

And that’s when I went in for testing, and I scored a pretty high IQ, a 96% in creativity, and yes, I was extremely hyperactive, impulsive, and could concentrate no more than 15 minutes on something that I found boring, which, at the time, was labeled as “ADHD” or “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder”.

(For clarity, I understand now that ADHD is an umbrella term (which I strongly dislike) and the term “ADD” is no longer used. Back then, “ADD” (Attention Deficit Disorder) was described as being unable to concentrate, and “ADHD” and “ADD” were separate, distinct disorders. For clarity, I fall into the new diagnostic criteria as “ADHD-Combined”)

ADHD was described in a nutshell as hyperactivity, lower attention span, and impulsivity. And while those sound like horrible things, there are many cognitive strengths that come with ADHD, including: hyper focus, creativity, courage, resilience, spontaneity, and being calm under pressure.

But when I was growing up, nobody actually spoke to me about any of the positive traits that come with this disorder. My mother was even told once that lots of people with ADHD end up in prison, due to their impulsive nature.

And like many children, I was medicated beginning in third grade. And while I could now sit still in class for my allotted six hours a day (without counting how many times Jimmy decided to click his pen), my personality changed, and it wasn’t for the better.

I was angry, depressed, and my naturally bubbly, friendly personality was suppressed. I was extremely uptight and ridged, not at all flexible or adaptable when things went wrong.

I actually strongly disliked noise and other children (which is ironic given that I’m now a stay-at-home mom, who very much enjoys spending time with not just my own child but other children as well.)

It wasn’t until I went off the stimulants to be pregnant that all of a sudden, my husband described it as “happy Audra” came out. And frankly, I didn’t want to go back on them. I liked my bubbly, spontaneous, friendly nature. I felt like, after more than a decade being on medication, I was rediscovering who I actually was, underneath it.

And when I went back to work, my job, which involved sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day, suffered. And later on we made the decision that I would become a stay-at-home mom, which allowed my husband to focus on his career in truck driving.

And now, I have been thriving. My daughter and I have tons of play dates every month, and I feel like I’m actually making friends.

If you’re panicking that your child will never accomplish anything or have a decent career, there are actually lots of careers that people with ADHD thrive in.

And I’ve been researching them, just in case we decide, when the children are older, that we want me to return to work. And ironically, being a writer or a journalist is actually high on the list.

And while there are many, many jobs, too many to list (and tons of articles on that topic), that can be a good fit for ADHD, there is actually a list of jobs to avoid as well, primarily a desk job with repetitive tasks.

And trust me, I understand the panic. I had low grades in elementary school. I was in trouble a lot as a kid, especially in the traditional school environment. I was accused of simply being a bad child, that ADHD didn’t exist. Teachers were extremely mean to me.

And even now, as a mom, I watch my kid, and I sometimes wonder, “does she have this? Is she going to be okay?” And I compare her to other children. I try not to, but I still worry.

But I’ve been told that things have really changed for kids in school, that schools are a lot more accommodating.

And there are even schools that specialize in educating kids with ADHD, which, if your state has school choice programs, you might want to look into. And there are more options than ever to homeschool your children if that’s what you desire.

Parenting me, I’ll admit, was challenging. I was born to older parents, which made my hyperactivity difficult to keep up with. One moment I’d be next to them, the next halfway across the playground. I was impulsive and made bad decisions at times. I was often defiant and didn’t listen well.

But I think it would have been much easier on my parents had they been told that I would be okay. So that’s my message to you: if your kid is struggling with ADHD, I want you to know that your child is going to grow up and be okay. They’ll find their place, they’ll find a way to manage their symptoms (whether with medication or other methods), and they’ll be okay.

I’m not here to debate whose symptoms are valid, or whether people are overdiagnosed, or whether or not medication is bad or good. I’m here to say it’ll be okay.

Wrong Speak is a free-expression platform that allows varying viewpoints. All views expressed in this article are the author's own.